Your Book: Does it Feel Like Your Baby?

So many writers talk about this that I couldn't resist putting in a word for the feeling myself.

Yes, my work feels like I have created a baby, birthed it, and am sending my child out into the world. I think that's why it hurts so much when my baby is criticized.

I'm sure you feel the same. But I need to share something with you.

Once your baby leaves the nest, it's the world that's going to look at her, judge her for good or bad, spend time with her or not, and this, in reality, is a part of life.

I remember when I sent my first daughter off to kindergarten. I didn't think I was going to make it. I tried not to cry when she was standing there and I was giving her my - last - hug. Well, it felt like the last hug, and I cried all the way home. I couldn't even work that day, the fear of her well-being weighing so heavily on my mind. But in time, she came home, with grins and giggles about her first day at school and I knew everything was going to be alright.

Sending off your first book is more than a little like that. You wonder, "Will people like it?" The bad news, is that you're always going to wonder if people are going to like your book, whether your book is your first or your seventh, but the good news is, hearing the negative comments gets a little easier.

For my first book, A River of Stones, there were a few reviewers and readers that thought I was trying to convert them to the LDS religion. This wasn't the case. I simply shared a story of a young girl named Samantha and what helped her work through some of the hard times in her life when her parents divorced.

My second book, Conquering Your Goliaths: A Parable of the Five Stones, has offered readers an opportunity not only to read a story about a woman named Virginia and how God assisted her through the five stones, to overcome her Goliath, but gave readers an opportunity to look at their own life and see the changes for improvement they might make. Some readers didn't like this. They didn't like it that they had to look at their life.

I have had other comments for my mystery books. Some have liked them, others haven't. I have my own writing style, I know that, and I present my stories, mysteries and otherwise, in my way.

What you need to know is that criticism can be good and it can be bad. The most important thing about criticism is that you get to take a second look at your book. You can make a change on how you do things for your next book, or not. Just remember that sometimes the news you get isn't really accurate, rather someones own hang-ups coming out in a review or comment. Don't let these get to you. People aren't perfect, and that makes the reviews you receive less than perfect.

Your baby isn't perfect either. As she grows, you will find that there are things you can help her with, ways you can improve. This doesn't mean you're a bad writer, what it does mean is that there is always something to learn as a writer, just as a child learns as she grows to adulthood.

And that's what living on this earth is all about.

Eating Chocolate Cheerios: Writing What You Love Even if Others Don't Like It

This morning I decided on one of my favorite cereals for breakfast: chocolate Cheerios. At the same time, I began talking about my writing to my daughter, and the talk evolved into those who
don't appreciate what I write.

(No, these are not chocolate, but they are good)

Quite frankly, I started in on a person I know of who doesn't like my books. This person has never said she doesn't like them, but I 'feel' it every time the subject comes up; sort of a wave of frozen ice and steel.

She hasn't bought one of my books and she has never said why, but I have a sneaking suspicion it's because I've self-published. What book out there that's self-published can be any good, right?

And it made me think of Cheerios. Not everyone likes Cheerios, and not everyone likes chocolate Cheerios, although I think they're pretty good. I buy them and eat them first next to Life cereal. If someone were to walk up to me today and tell me that they couldn't stand the stuff, I would keep eating them anyway.

It's just their opinion after all, and why should I get upset over someone else's opinion?

In the writing life, as in boxed cereal, the time will come when someone will not like your work. They may have never even read it. They may have never even glanced at it, but they will be firm in their opinion that it really isn't any good so why bother?

And when that day comes, I hope you will take your favorite cereal from the cupboard, pour that ice-cold milk, and distribute yummy bananas all over it, because that's what I did.

And you know what?

I feel so much better.

The Oreo Effect: Is There a Way to Speed up the Publishing Process?

When I tell fellow writers that it took me 8 long years of daily writing before I published for the first time, many can't believe it. Others, on their own long journey to that first publishing gig, just smile.

They understand.

A writer must be aware of and know how to pen various writing nuances. For example, a writer must know how to write believable characters. Out of their mouths must come natural sounding dialogue in a setting that appears real, even if it's on some faraway planet. A writer must know about plot, what makes fine plot, and what doesn't, where to get ideas and how to keep writing even when they don't feel like it.

Is there a way to speed things up?

One of the best ways to know how you're doing today is to have a fellow writer, an avid reader (not in your family) or a writing mentor that can show you what you're doing right and what you need to work on. The more feedback you receive, especially early on, the more likely you'll be to speed up the process to publication because you will quickly weed out what simply doesn't work.

Another good way to speed up the publishing process is to write every day. Interspersed with writing comes reading writing books and attending conferences to learn new skills, but even then, writing every day for at least an hour a day will do wonders that listening to a great speaker will never do.

Photo by: mihoda, courtesy of Flickr

Taking criticism is only good if it's valid criticism; criticism that helps you instead of hurting you. If you find that criticism only tends to keep you from writing, take on another reader; someone who can show you what they like about your work. Someone who can also talk to you about the problem areas without making you want to storm out of the room.

I call this the Oreo Effect.

An Oreo has two black chocolate cookie sides that keep safe the inside white stuff. Without the cookie sides, the white fluff is open to the world. The white stuff is the struggles you have with writing. The black chocolate is the positive stuff that keeps you grounded. If someone who reads your work can start out with a positive, something that you do naturally such as great dialogue or perfect setting, then it's far easier to take in the white problem such as poor sentence construction or a flawed plot. Ending the conversation with something else positive, helps the writer to go on.

Now, I realize you're probably the writer and not the reader reading this post, so you might want to pass the Oreo Effect on to someone you trust.

This trusted someone can share with you what's working, what isn't, and end the conversation with a positive so that you can move forward.

The first story I wrote was terrible, but I didn't know that. I gave copies of the story to my relatives who gratefully placed it on their bookshelves. I only learned later that they thought my work was pretty bad. But no one told me. As I continued, I got some feedback from others. I joined a writer's group and this really helped me to hone my craft. I listened, sometimes, to the feedback, sometimes not. But the greatest thing I ever did for myself was to continue writing, even when the criticism was great and I thought I'd never be a good writer.

I didn't often get the Oreo Effect, but when I did, it make all the difference.

Sure, it took me 8 years. But the publishing process could have taken me much longer if I hadn't learned that writing every day, learning all I could about writing, and taking heed to much of the criticism I received, would get me a sale less than 10 years after I'd first begun.

Expectations in Writing

Sometimes when we feel as if we've written some good, something memorable, we also find out that there are others who don't feel the same way.

We have expectations for our writing, sort of like the expectations we have for certain key individuals in our life. When our writing lets us down, it's sort of like someone we love has let us down.

The cool thing about both of these instances is that it took a human being to create the expectation. And I think that's an important thing to remember.

Not everyone is going to say what we want them to say all of the time, whether what they say is about our writing or about us. (And if it's about our writing it feels as if it's about us).

Phtoto by: spaceamoeba, courtesy of Flickr

When we write, we're putting our heart and soul into our work; when someone has let us down our heart and soul suffers.

In both cases we're feeling a bit sorry for ourselves. We may even wonder how we'll go on.

But we do.

If we're a writer, we continue. No matter the obstacles or words of discouragement. We move forward. We may have to take a good look, but then we move forward.

We have to.

Kathryn

Handling Criticism

I don't know about you but handling criticism, whether it is filled with love or a scathing review is a bit like taking a bite out of that great looking cookie only to discover the chef accidentally used salt instead of sugar.

None of us like criticism; it's the next best thing to cleaning out the bathroom toilet. Still, once the criticism is looked at certain decisions about your work can be made for improvement.

1. The critique is right on the money. I'm going to make changes.
2. The critique is a nut job; or at best, just the personal opinion of the critiquer.
3. The critique is a manifestation of the critiquers own insecurities.

Looking at these various responses, they all feel the same to me in the beginning. I may feel somewhat insulted, somehow not understood, and suddenly I am either angry or feeling insecure about my work.

Years ago I entered a contest. The entries had been painstakingly worked on. When I didn't win a single award I looked at the judges comments. Some were helpful. Others were scathing and I wondered how the judge thought I'd ever write again if I based my opinion on my work from their review.

Fortunately, I didn't.

One of the hardest things to take in is unsolicited critiques; those that come to you without you even asking for them. But these, like the others, can be purposeful for your work if you let them.

Photo by: Arry_B, courtesy of Flickr

But you have to let them in.

My new book, Scrambled, is a cozy mystery but it doesn't run typically cozy. It has an amateur sleuth, a murder, even some quirky instances played out by the main character who knows nothing about solving a mystery. But it is more serious than the typical cozy. Susan not only has a back story, she lives in the real world where separation from a long-time marriage is possible. And so my cozy takes on a deeper level than some.

Is this okay, even if some readers think my story is more of a suspense novel?

I think so. Keeping things interesting in your writing, keeps the readership coming. And I can't help but think that a cozy can also create some great suspense--if you let it.

Receiving Writing Critiques

Today I'm thinking about critiques mainly because I'm still getting them.

The interesting thing about critiques is that you continue to get them, even when you believe your writing is, well, fairly established. And you can't let the critiques "get to you." In fact, if you use them as stepping stones instead of stumbling blocks, it's amazing how your writing can improve.

If someone tells you that you need to be more clear here, or shorten your sentences there; or even, "you need to follow the guidelines" you need to listen up and take action; yes, even when it hurts.

Photo By: jorgempf, courtesy of Flickr

I don't know what it is about critiques but they have a way of getting underneath our skin and seeping inside our hearts. Suddenly, we're not quite "good enough" our writing "sucks" or we find ourselves getting a bit miffed that the person reading our stuff somehow missed seeing us.

It's kind of like meeting someone for the first time and then seeing them again for the second time on the same night and they can't remember your name. It's sort of like writing your best stuff, at least, what you believe is your best stuff, and having someone else tell you it isn't your best stuff--you can do better.

And I guess that's the point about the best critiques. You learn how you can improve your writing, or not. If  the critique is specific enough in its explanation, you know where and what needs to be looked at. You have the courage to make changes.

Photo By: n0nick, courtesy of Flickr

If you don't agree with the person who critiqued your  work, that's fine, but if you can see past your own heart and skin, you may find that the "criticizer" was right.

Those writers with the greatest perseverance have the courage to LOOK.

Why Criticism for your Writing is a Good Thing

As a writer, criticism for your writing may be as prevalent as your next paragraph, but the criticism itself doesn't have to be daunting or depressing. I have learned through the years of writing that criticism can be a real winner if you look at it in a positive way. After publishing for almost 30 years I still get criticism when it comes to my work, and this is a good thing. Why?

Photo by Tony Hall, courtesy of Flickr

• Valid criticism helps you see your work with new eyes. Perhaps the reader didn't understand a sentence you used or why the character changed hair color "suddenly" from blond to brown when there wasn't a logical explanation for doing so. Allowing someone else to critique your work gives you an opportunity to revise and improve it. 
• Sometimes the criticism you receive appears more off than beaten track than on it, and in writing, you want the comments that you take in to be "right on" the money. After I read feedback, and before I return to make changes, I let a couple of days go by. When I pick up the manuscript again it's easier to pinpoint the criticism of my work that is valid. If you're having your work read by multiple readers, see if they have problems with the same areas of your work. This is usually a good clue that what you've written isn't working--for multiple readers.



Photo by Chris Radcliff, courtesy of Flickr

• Criticism, wise criticism, helps you to connect with a reader who loves your work. I have friends and family members who read my work before I publish it. I am grateful for their help because I am able to publish a better product. Though I publish my own works through self-publishing, having others read your work will get you beyond the "slush pile"  when it comes to submitting your work to a publisher. 
• One more thing about valid criticism. You will sometimes get a reader's "opinion" when it comes to your work. They might not like it because you've written romance and they prefer westerns. They may prefer nonfiction when what you've written is fiction. They may like more dialogue in the books they read and less setting. Make sure that the changes you make feel good to you. You will never be able to make every reader happy.

In the end, criticism of your writing is merely a critique anyway, and never has to do with you as a person. Keeping your feelings separate from the critique will go a long way in allowing you to improve your work. Put on an reader's hat if you have to when it comes to reading the criticism you receive and leave your creative mind at the door.