Had Any Chocolate Lately?

I don't know about you, but I simply adore chocolate. It's one of those things I hope they have in heaven or I'm not going. :) Seriously though, eating chocolate, at least for me, is kind of like taking a day off like Memorial Day. It's a day when I not only get to eat some of my favorite foods, but I get to think about those who have gone before me and what they've contributed to my life.

 

My Grandma Ranck was a great cook, and while I could also say I'm a great cook because of her, I'm not. What I learned from my grandmother was that she was generous when it came to her time. And when I stayed at her house I felt just like a princess.

Sure, I was spoiled rotten, but I was also listened to and accepted for the child I was; not altogether sure of myself, and shy as the day was long. Still, she was my grand example of assurity and graciousness. She could see in me things I wasn't yet ready to see or believe I had within myself. And perhaps all grandmothers are like that. If they're not, they should be.

It took me a few years, but after I began writing, my grandmother took it seriously even before I was really any good. She read everything I'd written, kept all the gifts of writing I'd given her; I knew this because years later my mother handed me a folder. In it were all of the gifts of writing I had given her. These gifts were a bit like chocolate. Okay, they were better than chocolate. I felt as if I could swim in their love forever and only get fat knowing that she loved me no matter where I was at in life.

I hope all grandmother's are like that.

Ugh! When Stress is Created by the Clock (and by Those Who Fail to Watch It)

Don't be disturbed by the title. It's what came to me this morning as I tried to get things done and others around me didn't quite see the need to do their part.

You know what I mean. You are trying to get ready for the day, the other person (whom you're dropping off at school) doesn't care as much as you do, so everyone is late.

Or...you're trying to make it to church on time the other person (maybe even more than one person) doesn't think it's a big deal to walk in while the opening song is being sung.

You want to get out the door, to anything, and the other someone is always holding you back. If it was just you, well, you'd be on time no matter what it was.

You wouldn't blame the ice
the snow
that phone call

Photo by: Ian Crowfeather, courtesy of Flickr

not being able to find your shoes

You would get there.

Yes, I am a fairly organized person. Though I'm not a perfect soul, I do schedule time for things like going to school and to church. I do like it when I know when I'm going to write and when I'm going to work at my business. I like to know when I'm babysitting my grandchildren and what I'm going to have for dinner, though the last scenario doesn't always work out. It's just easier to let that one slide.

But I hope you get the idea. Stress is often created when those around you see life differently, and this can wreck havoc with a person like me.

So, I guess I am venting today. I'm writing, yes, because I try to write on my blog at least five mornings a week, though I'm sometimes interrupted by other duties (that admittedly have been forgotten by someone else). And I'd like to think that I'm learning something by all of this.

About patience, surely.

About differences in living life, most definitely. About priorities?

Why is it that something that makes you scream can make another person just look at you and blink their eyes?

Photo by: Razmataz', courtesy of Flickr

What about you? What ruffles your feathers? Just get it out.

What it Really Takes to Be an Author: In Order of Importance

Through the years I've learned some valuable things, about paying bills on time, keeping my room clean, and doing the dishes before they've had a chance to sit too long. And I've learned a bit about writing and what it really takes to be an author.

I don't know about you, but I feel as if my writing teachers had it wrong. Look over the list and you'll see why.

Again, in order of importance.

1. Guts
2. Time
3. Creativity
4. Stick-to-it-ive-ness
5. Writing Skill
6. The ability to take criticism
7. Grammar Skill

When I went to school it was all about grammar and writing correct sentences. Ever diagram a sentence? Everyone did, but I really don't know how much this has helped me.

Through writing, I've learned grammar skills, but if I'd stopped writing in the beginning because I was still worried about grammar to be a good writer, you can be assured I would have stopped there. No one likes to be told that they need perfect grammar before they can write a good book.

What does a writer need?

Guts to keep going. The time to create. The ability to stick to a project that is difficult, because there isn't a boss looking over your shoulder. Sure, you need writing skills, but this comes through writing, not dreaming about writing after you know everything about grammar. And once you begin writing, it takes an insightful writer to take criticism and use it (or lose it) as the case may be.

And that good ole grammar?

That comes last, after all of the writing and editing and learning and working. And yes, through time, it will come to you pretty naturally.

So if you're worried about it.

Don't.

 

3 Writing Excuses You Want to Avoid for the New Year

Since we, as writers, seem to have as many excuses for not writing as say someone who doesn't want to clean out their kitchen cabinets, I thought it would be fair to say that writers avoid writing too. And what we avoid and why we avoid it says a lot about us as a person, both on and off the job.

Photo by: Amy Loves Yah, courtesy of Flickr

Let's start with procrastination. It's easy to procrastinate something that may not be bringing in a regular paycheck. Unlike a regular job with a regular paycheck, our writing becomes a hobby where we get to it when we have the time. (See excuse #3).What is foremost in our mind is the job that pays us money.


Photo by Wonderlane, courtesy of Flickr

I'm not good enough anyway. Part of being a writer is getting critiques of what we do. These critiques come from the world, yes, but our hardest and biggest critic is ourselves. We just don't see ourselves as selling a book; getting anyone to buy it. We see our writing as less than. We have a hard time seeing ourselves as a success.




Photo by: NCinDC, courtesy of Flickr

I don't have the time. Really, I don't. But maybe we have time to watch our favorite show on television. Television eats up time. I know. I watch television too. I have my favorite shows and I often lounge in front of the television at night because I need some time just to veg. Take a look at your time. If you want to be a writer you'll make time to write.

I want you to know that I've used all of these three excuses at one time or another, and sometimes I have used them in concert. Why should I make the time to write when I'm not good enough anyway. I'll do it later.

Later rarely comes unless we plan to use our time wisely. And when we get those criticisms from ourselves and from others, we need to realize what's happening and take a giant leap in the direction of our computer.

Last One is a Rotten Egg

You probably remember the saying as a kid.

And you probably never wanted to be last, especially when it meant you could be first, or at least second, and lose the rotten egg title. Last meant you were somehow not on the list or that your parents really did find you on the doorstep in a basket.



Photo by: oxcnpxo, courtesy of Flickr

But let's get serious.

We often take this saying into our adulthood. It's almost as if we have to prove ourselves to ourselves, to our parents, or maybe even our siblings.

I'm not that rotten egg; I'm never going to be last. And so we push ahead, faster than we really have strength, and give little or no time for that reflection we really need.

The other day I was talking to a friend about reflection but was calling it writing in a journal. She said, "But I'm not a writer." I couldn't convince her that a person didn't need to be a writer to write in a journal and that it would be helpful for posterity to read a little about her after she was gone. I explained how it just wasn't enough for me to know someones name, who they married, and when they died, I wanted to know about their life.

But my friend wasn't too interested. My friend didn't want to keep a journal, at least not now. And it would have been fruitless to keep prodding her on to think differently about it. Perhaps she thought it was too much work, maybe there were other things on her mind that she felt took precedence. What I know is that she wasn't a rotten egg in my eyes just because journaling appeared to come last in her life.

A month or so ago I placed my novels on the back burner until after the holidays. It just didn't make sense for me to write when I could be thinking and doing other things. Perhaps you might think I'm a rotten egg. Letting my writing go like that.

But I hope not.

Finding the Best Writing Time for You

Finding the best writing time for you is really as unique as you are.

I find that when I don't schedule my writing time, that my writing time often escapes me. I am rarely able to give the morning hours from 9 -12 the focus needed because I am getting up to re-fill a sippy cup, change the television channel, or put together a puzzle with my 3 year old granddaughter.



Photo by: Trinity, courtesy of Flickr

I wonder how much of my writing time is actually counting for something. I get in the realm of writing and then I'm stopped and have to start again. But it's just not the starting, it's getting back into that realm that's the real trick.

Reflecting on this, I know that my time might be better spent if I got up earlier in the morning or stayed up later at night to work on writing, but the truth of it is, I just don't want to get up that early or stay up that late.

I love my sleep and I'm not really a morning riser.

Finding the best writing time for you may take some work. You may find that you can write with children in the background but that certain creative phases need complete silence. My most in depth creative phase is the first draft after I've done a little outlining. I'm getting the words down and sometimes they come faster than I can type them. An interruption at this time might be deadly.

Have you every thought, "Well, I'll just go do this one thing, and get back to it in a moment?" Only when you come back you've forgotten what you were going to write? For this reason, my deepest thinking moments are usually spent when I can be as alone as possible. And that means someone else is watching the children and I'm not answering the phone or door. I've heard of some writers letting others know when their writing time is so that they're not disturbed. That means, others outside their home know when not to call and when not to drop by.

I have yet to incorporate this wise wisdom, but if we, as writers, don't take our writing seriously, who will?

Finding the best writing time for you may include learning how to write with noise in the background, interruptions, and children hanging on your legs, knowing that the day will come when your children will be grown up and you'll have other things to worry about. You may decide to write late at night or early in the morning or at nap time.

But if your goal is to be published or to get your first novel completed before Christmas, you'll find the time.

What's the Hardest Part of Being a Writer?

What's the hardest part of being a writer?

I sometimes struggle with others taking my writing seriously. But when I finally stopped searching for a "job" and began my own company I think the realization hit many that what I really wanted to do was work for myself.



Photo by lett -^=, courtesy of Flickr

Sometimes I have a hard time getting to work. Because I'm at home and the house is screaming to be cleaned or the grandchildren are screaming to have some time or I'm screaming for a break, I have a difficult time focusing on the job at hand.

Writing isn't always fun. Really? Writing is work and sometimes the writing itself is a struggle. But when this happens, I pull out another writing project or spend a few moments working on a writing prompt.

Sometimes it's hard waiting for the money to come in. I don't get a regular paycheck, and sometimes I get a little stressed about that, but the stressing comes less now as my focus has changed to more important things like sharing and helping others with their own writing.



Photo by: noricum, courtesy of Flickr

Sometimes I have too many projects and so can't focus on the most important one at hand. I get ideas often, but that doesn't mean I can do everything at the same time. Many projects are put on the back burner until the finishing up of a particular project leaves room for a new one.

The hardest part of being a writer, for me, shifts every day and depends on my mood. But I don't let a day go by without writing something.

Because I need to write.

What the hardest part of being a writer, for you? Share your thoughts.

Reflection and Writing

Do you often pause and reflect about your writing life? Where you are and where you'd like to be?

It came to me a few weeks ago, that some of my writing dreams have finally become a reality, and I find myself wondering how it all happened.

You know why patience is a virtue? It's because so many of us lack it. What we want is for our writing, no matter what it is, to be published NOW. It's the waiting that stinks.

But what if we have it all wrong? I waited 8 years after writing every day, to get my first work published. It was a short snip-it, hardly an article. And in the beginning I wrote the short stuff. The short article. The short poem. The short children's story.

Photo by Kevin Lawver, courtesy of Flickr

Reflecting on my "short" start, I realize that these shorts prepared me for the "longs." Later, I published one book and then two, and then three. And after all of that, I wanted to begin my own publishing company. And so Idea Creations Press was born.

Photo by: striatic, courtesy of Flickr

I always wanted to publish books for other people, but it seemed more like a pipe dream than anything else. But I believe all the "shorts" and "longs" have prepared me for the next step. I couldn't have published a book in the beginning without first gaining the skills and determination to do so. And now that I have the skills and determination to publish I see a window opening with even more to learn.

And that's what reflection is all about.

Getting Smart about Writing

It's easy to take your writing for granted, kind of like those old tulips that come up every year without fail. But when you see them, just like when you see your novel at completion, you know you've been smart about your writing.

Finishing a novel in a year is a good game plan. And if you can finish your novel in even less time, even better. The important thing is to give your novel the time it needs to be the best book it can be.

Of course, you will always find those grammar mistakes even after you've published, but the worst of it will already be worked through because of the months you have given to your book.

Getting smart about your writing means listening to your heart. Your heart will tell you when it's time to speed up or slow down, and it will let you know when your work is ready to be seen by a publisher or when you should self-publish. And it's important to listen to that.

Photo by: wrestlingentropy, courtesty of Flickr

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, make sure you get plenty of readers to read your book and let you know if you're there. It's a safe bet that they will tell you if they feel good about your work or if they feel it needs just a bit more tweaking.

Taking the time to read over your work out loud will help you too, as will getting together with a great critique group. Getting smart means you make a check list so that you don't forget anything. It means taking the time each day to write and not letting procrastination take over.

I hate cleaning the bathroom but it's amazing how this chore can win over the project I'm currently working on. It's amazing that I suddenly notice the dirty carpet or dishes. But this is always going to be the case.

Setting a time to write is a good idea, but if you're like me, you fit in writing where you can. I write every day even if it's only this blog.

In the end, getting smart about writing means you take it seriously enough to do it--every day. Let the kitchen sink sit.

WANT A FREE GIFT? COME TO MY FREE WRITING YOUR BOOK WORKSHOP ON SATURDAY and get smart about your writing!

Place: Bountiful/Davis Art Center, 745 South Main Street
Time: 1-2:30

Call 801-292-0367 to register, or email me at: kathy@ariverofstones.com

10 Clues that You're a Writer

How do you know when you're a writer?

1. You may stay home to write instead of going out to dinner. Besides, you're on your last chapter!

2. You begin to see your characters as real people and may converse with them on a daily basis. You may even prefer them to the real people you know.

3. You notice the little things that most folks take for granted. The sway of the leaves. The smell of the newly budded flower, the look of a child's face as they gaze upon the splendid treasures within the Disney Store. Heck, you may even be in awe yourself.

Photo by: tnarik, courtesy of Flickr

4. You stay up too late or get up at the crack of dawn. This is the only time you have to write and you're going to make the best of it.

5. You hate it when others miss-spell things (Hummm, is that right?), but may be a bit uncomfortable when others notice that you have.

6. You carry a book with you at all times. It may be your book (to sell or give away to just the right person) or you carry a book written by someone else to read at your earliest convenience.

7.  You hate it when others don't think your job is anything more than a "hobby". You want to be respected for what you do.

Photo by: Sean MacEntee, courtesy of Flickr

8. You spend a good portion of the day dreaming up new characters for your next book, or dreaming of a new place for your next book's setting. You may even book a flight.

9. You may procrastinate because life always throws you things that at first glance appear to be more important than your writing.

10. You eat junk food at the computer because you don't want to lose your train of thought.

Have a favorite, or one I haven't thought of? I would love your feedback! (Now you know what I do! Well, except for #4).

Conquering your (Writing) Goliaths

As many of you know, my second published book, "Conquering your Goliaths: A Parable of the Five Stones," is up and running. But today I wanted to focus on 5 specific Goliaths we all face when it comes to writing and how to overcome them.

Let's start off with the most obvious one:

Photo by: Psyberartist, courtesy of Flickr

1. What if I have writer's block? 

Don't believe in it. If I have a stall in my writing I try a writer's exercise, write about a picture in a magazine, or just start writing whatever comes to me. I don't believe in writer's block because there are so many things to write about.

2. What if I don't have enough time to write?

You have enough time if you choose to believe you do. Writing takes sacrifice, even for those who (sigh) are able to write full-time. You may need to sacrifice sleep. You may need to sacrifice a perfectly clean home. You may bow out of events. You may even choose to put that roofing project off for another year.

Whatever it is that's keeping you from writing, evaluate it. See if it can be removed from your life or put on the back burner (instead of your writing) for another time. You can do it.

3. What if I have terrible grammar?

Photo by: mrsdkrebs, courtesy of Flickr

The best writers I know of have terrible grammar. What they excel at is a great story. Through time and effort, however, these terrible grammarians improve their grammar and may even manage to elicit a great editor to help them with their work. In your first draft, when the great stuff is coming and you really don't want to shut it off, grammar is the least of your concerns. You should be focusing in on the story. Only later, when you're reading for publishing, should you hone in on your grammar.

4. What if people hate my work?

Yes, some people will hate your work, and you have to get to the point that that it is okay with you. Especially in the beginning, when your writing is just taking off, you may have a crash or two when it comes to readers not really enjoying your work. If they're your friends, they will tell you why they didn't like it, they will get specific, and they will also tell you what worked for them. Critiques never hurt anyone, especially a writer who knows when to take the critique in and make changes and when not to.

5. What if I can't sell my work?

I remember the day I realized the reason I wrote, and it wasn't for money. Money was more of a side-mission that would come because folks wanted to be a part of what I'd written. I was writing for me, but I was also writing for others. What I sold had as much to do with my marketing skills (or lack of them) as was the reader's desire to read my work. I couldn't worry about sales. I needed to focus my attention on getting the word out.

Writing a book is a little like creating a child and letting the child go when he/she has grown up. People say it is difficult to write, and it is, but it is far more difficult to let your book go after it's been written and see what happens.

Becoming a Writer When you Work a Full-Time Job

You love writing, but you also work full-time; is it possible to be a writer? To actually produce a book?

Photo by Allie Holzman, courtesy of Flickr

The good news is, YES!

Yes, you will need to be dedicated. Yes, you may need to let go of something to make room for writing. Yes, you may even have to turn the television off, but you will do it. Whether you are up for the task is really up to you. I talk to people every week who, when they see I've written a couple books, sometimes tell me that they have a book in them as well.

"I've always wanted to write a book about ____________." You fill in the blank. Years later, I speak to the person again. Have they written their book? Nope.

Dedication is one of those things that you have when writing a book is a priority. And if you're already working full-time, writing that book must take priority or television, going out with friends, even cleaning out your kitchen cupboards if they need it. Writing a book may have to come when your children are in bed; it may need to come at 4 a.m. before you head off to work.

It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.

Photo by Paolo Camera, courtesy of Flickr

I know some busy writers that write for at least an hour a day. They make sure they get the time in; they leave the dishes dirty in the sink if they have to. It isn't enough for these writers to write "whenever they get the chance" because "whenever" rarely happens. They make time for what they love.

Because becoming a writer is NOT, I repeat, is NOT an easy process, there are many writers that get discouraged just after leaving the gate. They sprint forward, excitement coursing through their veins, ready for the race. The race is new, exciting, and they want it! And then there's an obstacle. The path is muddy ahead, or the weather is bad, or they're just not feeling up to writing that day. They end the race even before it's really begun.

After beginning the race in 1980, I sold my first piece of writing in 1987. Did I write every day? Yep. Did I give up? Nope! Not even when my first baby hung on my legs while I typed. Not even when I was tired after work. Not even when ___________________ (You fill in the blank).

Time waits for no Woman (or man)

Prior to this day I have been less than a terrific blogger. Let’s just say that “life” as I know it got in the way, and blogging, shall we say, was at the bottom of my list.

I was busy mentoring, cleaning, errand running, writing my newest book, and many of the other things that transpire in a given day for a writer. But I was forgetting you.

I read blogs myself, and I love that I can glean ideas from other writers who are struggling to make successful the sorts of things I am. Gleaning ideas is really the only way any of us writers have anything to write about in the first place even if we don’t always get our ideas from a blog.

Your husband might be sick for an entire week, like mine was from a diabetic seizure, and it’s all you can do to take care of him. You may find yourself struggling to provide the money necessary for that next mortgage payment or finding time for your grandchildren. You may wonder when “your time” will come, when you will have time to write and to get on with your life.

What I love about my life is that it is mixed in with other’s lives. I am not an island. I don’t stand alone. My best writing comes from my experiences, as well as who I am, and the way I choose to live. And spending time doing the most important things in life, whether it’s writing the next blog or experiencing the next outing with my grandchildren, is what life is truly all about.