Dear Mom:
Would it be a good idea to take a "blind date" to a steak house?
Sincerely,
Stuck
Dear Stuck:
When I first read your question, I thought, "Well, sure. I like steak, and most girls I know like a good meal. Why not?" A short but sweet answer.
While discussing this question with my husband, however, he quickly reminded me that questions aren't always asked at face value, and neither should they be answered that way. "What he's really asking," he said, "is if he should spend money on a girl he has never before set eyes on. Steak houses are not cheap," my husband continued. "By the time you're done with the steak, potatoes, dessert and drinks, you are looking at a nice fifty bucks."
Well, I knew that was right, at least subconsciously. I'd been on plenty of dates since I'd married my husband, a good percentage of them at steak houses, and we'd never gotten out of the place under anything less than forty and that was probably because we'd ordered water with our meal.
"You're probably right," I said. I don't like to admit when my husband is right, not even "probably" right, but this time, dare I say it, he was.
I started to think about the first dates my husband and I experienced before we married-a movie, a day at the zoo, a dance at the church house; and then my mind wandered to the sometimes less than desirable kind-those blind dates that quickly turned to chaos.
Here's one: This guy, I can't even remember his name, took me out on a date to Lagoon.
Remember this was a blind date. Expensive in its own right, but I haven't gotten to the good part. I wasn't even sure I liked him yet and he was taking me on all the "dark" and/or "smushy" rides. You know the ones.
What they used to call the "Wild Mouse," and those dark and stupid ones like "The Terror Ride," which they amazingly still have. I didn't even know I liked him but he kept reaching for me like the Grim Reaper. I was more than happy to come home and leave him for good, okay, even after all that money he'd spent on me.
Was the money wasted?
You bet it was. The guy was a creep. In about an hour I saw that guy for what he was and wanted nothing to do with him.
This brings me back to your question. Why spend an evening at an expensive steak house with someone you have no idea about? Okay, other than what the person who lined you two up, told you?
Better to go to a doughnut shop, hang out for a bit. Talk. You know. Guaranteed, in about an hour, maybe even less, you will know if you're interested. And then what are you out? A few bucks? An hour or two?
A lot easier to swallow, don't you think?
Love,
Mom
Get up and get writing! We're in this together!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
How do I get my kids to go to bed and stay there?
Dear Mom:
How do I get my kids to go to bed and stay there?
Sincerely,
Lost in the Quagmire
Dear Lost:
You didn't tell me if your children are up to the same old tricks; the glass of water, numerous trips to the bathroom, never being satisfied with one story, but I have a feeling these tricks are being played to their fullest, otherwise your children would be in bed-asleep.
You may even be dealing with the dreaded television monster. "But the movie doesn't end until later" sort of excuse. My oldest daughter has resorted to using "the monster" to get her children to stay in bed. Yes, the television is in her children's room. She plays "Finding Nemo" or "Cinderella" or something else equally entertaining to her children, and usually by nine they are out. She says she was tired of their old tricks and decided that movies were the only way they were able to relax and go to sleep.
Other mothers and fathers have resorted to horseback rides to the bedroom, even personal songs they have made up themselves to coax their children to sleep, while others use a tape or CD version of their children's favorite songs played only at bedtime. And then there are the joke parents, who tell their children funnies before retiring or the story parents who tell their children a story about their personal past-something kids love and always like, say the experts. Then there are the bath parents, who use warm water, perhaps with bubbles, to sooth the muscles of their children before they put them in bed and the special goodnight kiss and hug ritual begins.
Though some parents have resorted to lying down with their children before they go to sleep, 33 percent said one Parent Center survey, others, 23 percent; say they merely get upset with their children and have no idea what to do. Four percent "revoke privileges" while another 7 percent, "put up a gate or lock" on their child's door. Only 5 percent out of the 23,298 surveyed admit they "give up and let [their child] stay up late," while 19 percent have the courage to take their child back to bed "as many times as it takes," leaving 5 percent who extend "other" techniques when their "child refuses to go to bed" (www.parentcenter.com).
What does this say to you?
What I see is less than 20 percent of parents following through with a bedtime ritual.
The greatest thing we can do for our children is to develop a fun routine with them, say the experts; a routine parents and children have set up together. Every night bedtime is the same. The time is the same, the routine is the same; whether the routine includes a horsy ride to bed and a bedtime song or the infamous story read-perhaps in a squeaky voice for effect.
Whatever you decide to do, don't cave in to any excuses your child gives you, including tears when the time has come. Take your children back to bed and keep taking them back to bed every time they get up. Don't give up. In time, your children will see you not only mean business, but will look forward to what used to be the most dreaded of all times!
Happy bedtime!
Mom
How do I get my kids to go to bed and stay there?
Sincerely,
Lost in the Quagmire
Dear Lost:
You didn't tell me if your children are up to the same old tricks; the glass of water, numerous trips to the bathroom, never being satisfied with one story, but I have a feeling these tricks are being played to their fullest, otherwise your children would be in bed-asleep.
You may even be dealing with the dreaded television monster. "But the movie doesn't end until later" sort of excuse. My oldest daughter has resorted to using "the monster" to get her children to stay in bed. Yes, the television is in her children's room. She plays "Finding Nemo" or "Cinderella" or something else equally entertaining to her children, and usually by nine they are out. She says she was tired of their old tricks and decided that movies were the only way they were able to relax and go to sleep.
Other mothers and fathers have resorted to horseback rides to the bedroom, even personal songs they have made up themselves to coax their children to sleep, while others use a tape or CD version of their children's favorite songs played only at bedtime. And then there are the joke parents, who tell their children funnies before retiring or the story parents who tell their children a story about their personal past-something kids love and always like, say the experts. Then there are the bath parents, who use warm water, perhaps with bubbles, to sooth the muscles of their children before they put them in bed and the special goodnight kiss and hug ritual begins.
Though some parents have resorted to lying down with their children before they go to sleep, 33 percent said one Parent Center survey, others, 23 percent; say they merely get upset with their children and have no idea what to do. Four percent "revoke privileges" while another 7 percent, "put up a gate or lock" on their child's door. Only 5 percent out of the 23,298 surveyed admit they "give up and let [their child] stay up late," while 19 percent have the courage to take their child back to bed "as many times as it takes," leaving 5 percent who extend "other" techniques when their "child refuses to go to bed" (www.parentcenter.com).
What does this say to you?
What I see is less than 20 percent of parents following through with a bedtime ritual.
The greatest thing we can do for our children is to develop a fun routine with them, say the experts; a routine parents and children have set up together. Every night bedtime is the same. The time is the same, the routine is the same; whether the routine includes a horsy ride to bed and a bedtime song or the infamous story read-perhaps in a squeaky voice for effect.
Whatever you decide to do, don't cave in to any excuses your child gives you, including tears when the time has come. Take your children back to bed and keep taking them back to bed every time they get up. Don't give up. In time, your children will see you not only mean business, but will look forward to what used to be the most dreaded of all times!
Happy bedtime!
Mom
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Why is lint blue?
Dear Mom:
Do you take less than serious questions? Well, I have one. Why is lint blue? No matter what color I am wearing I get blue lint, even when I'm wearing red.
Sincerely,
Blue Lint Hanging On Me
Dear Blue,
Your question made me laugh and then I had a thought. Thoughts come to me every now and again. It was almost like I was hearing the question, "Why is the sky blue?" all over again. I decided to look it up.
What I found was a course on belly button lint.
Seems there was a man by the name of Dr. Kruszelnicki who was awarded the Ig Nobel Prize for his research in 2002 regarding belly button lint. For those of you who don't know, as I didn't, what the Ig Nobel Prize is, let me tell you.
Each year in the fall ten winners are announced for their parody in areas of science that at "first make people laugh, and then make them think" (http://enwikipedia.org).
Such was the case with belly button lint and Dr. Kruszelnicki.
Kruszelnicki discovered some fascinating things about belly button lint, such as the "existence of navel lint [being] entirely harmless, and requir[ing] no corrective action," but perhaps more importantly, that the "navel lint's characteristic blue tint is due to the existence of blue fibres in clothing."
Another source revealed that the color of lint in your navel had to do with the color you were wearing, suggesting that if you wear blue clothes you will have blue lint.
Not a likely concept however, if you are getting blue lint from a red sweater, for example.
Still, this same source suggests that "if you wear lots of different [colors] then the lint collected is a kind of blue grey rather like the stuff you find in your clothes dryer" (http://www.silkhouse.co.uk).
I couldn't help it. I started to ponder my dryer lint. Most of the time, yes, it was a sort of blue gray but occasionally, very occasionally it was pink. So what was up with that?
This brought me to Graham Barker who is the record holder in the Guinness Book of Records since 1984 for the collection of the most belly button lint.
Barker never collects blue in his button, but "a particular shade of red," though he rarely wears the color.
What's up with that?
No one seems to know. I even checked one site where the person's belly button lint was discovered in almost all the colors of the rainbow!
But I'm taking you a bit off track. You asked about blue lint, and not the lint in belly buttons, I am guessing, but the lint found on your favorite red sweater, for example.
I say the answer is the same. Whether the lint goes in your button or on your sweater's sleeve, the color will more than likely be blue for the "blue fibre" reason stated above.
If it's not, you might want to check with Graham Barker.
Mom
Do you take less than serious questions? Well, I have one. Why is lint blue? No matter what color I am wearing I get blue lint, even when I'm wearing red.
Sincerely,
Blue Lint Hanging On Me
Dear Blue,
Your question made me laugh and then I had a thought. Thoughts come to me every now and again. It was almost like I was hearing the question, "Why is the sky blue?" all over again. I decided to look it up.
What I found was a course on belly button lint.
Seems there was a man by the name of Dr. Kruszelnicki who was awarded the Ig Nobel Prize for his research in 2002 regarding belly button lint. For those of you who don't know, as I didn't, what the Ig Nobel Prize is, let me tell you.
Each year in the fall ten winners are announced for their parody in areas of science that at "first make people laugh, and then make them think" (http://enwikipedia.org).
Such was the case with belly button lint and Dr. Kruszelnicki.
Kruszelnicki discovered some fascinating things about belly button lint, such as the "existence of navel lint [being] entirely harmless, and requir[ing] no corrective action," but perhaps more importantly, that the "navel lint's characteristic blue tint is due to the existence of blue fibres in clothing."
Another source revealed that the color of lint in your navel had to do with the color you were wearing, suggesting that if you wear blue clothes you will have blue lint.
Not a likely concept however, if you are getting blue lint from a red sweater, for example.
Still, this same source suggests that "if you wear lots of different [colors] then the lint collected is a kind of blue grey rather like the stuff you find in your clothes dryer" (http://www.silkhouse.co.uk).
I couldn't help it. I started to ponder my dryer lint. Most of the time, yes, it was a sort of blue gray but occasionally, very occasionally it was pink. So what was up with that?
This brought me to Graham Barker who is the record holder in the Guinness Book of Records since 1984 for the collection of the most belly button lint.
Barker never collects blue in his button, but "a particular shade of red," though he rarely wears the color.
What's up with that?
No one seems to know. I even checked one site where the person's belly button lint was discovered in almost all the colors of the rainbow!
But I'm taking you a bit off track. You asked about blue lint, and not the lint in belly buttons, I am guessing, but the lint found on your favorite red sweater, for example.
I say the answer is the same. Whether the lint goes in your button or on your sweater's sleeve, the color will more than likely be blue for the "blue fibre" reason stated above.
If it's not, you might want to check with Graham Barker.
Mom
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