My mom is making me go to graduation

Dear Mom:

My Mom is forcing me to go to graduation. I'm sorry, but graduation at a college is lame. It's long, boring and I don't even know the people like I knew in high school. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Bummed.

Dear Bummed:

Quit being bummed. Granted, the event is usually long, and sometimes boring, but
have you ever been to the college variety graduation? Okay, I haven't either, but how can you knock what you haven't tried? And how can you say it's going to be lame and boring when you don't even mention who the speakers are going to be. Do you even know any of the speakers?

Let's say you don't know any of the people there, including the speakers, which I truly doubt. And let's say you're practically at the last of the line, having to wait almost the entire time to get your standing ovation from your mom-and a thousand pictures of your wonderful physique from her camera. Isn't this worth it? I mean, making your mom happy and anyone else who is choosing to attend. I know it's YOUR graduation, but try thinking outside of your head for a minute. The graduation, yes, might be totally, completely and utterly boring, but think of your mom and her feelings. I'm one of them; I ought to know.

Happy walking!

Mom