Monday, July 13, 2009

Dating A Guy At Work - Is dating a co-worker a bad idea?

Dear Mom:

Should I date a guy at work?



Dear Interested:

That depends. Can you date this guy and still remain co-workers at work? Can you stick to a purely working relationship, never allowing your personal relationship to interfere with your business one? Perhaps the best way for you to answer this one is to look back on your previous relationships.

How would you describe your attachment-what I mean to say is, were you always holding hands, winking at each other from across the room, whispering, giggling, making coy suggestions you thought only your partner could understand? Did this previous relationship easily distract you from even simple tasks? Was it hard for you to concentrate when away from him? And with him, was it hard to think about anything but him?

These are typical responses to being with someone you like, responses which are normal, even desirable in a relationship. When you mix romance with work however, some pretty amazing things begin to happen, not all of them pleasant or positive.

I am quickly thinking of one experience I had. I was working this job and had a desire to date this particular guy. When he asked me out I accepted. We went to Lagoon together and I cannot tell you the feelings that stirred within my soul as I was with him; especially on those close and steamy rides like the wild mouse.

At any rate, from the first date on, I found it difficult to concentrate on my work. When I would see him I would suddenly be transported away. My focus was poor. It was difficult for him to work as well, and yes, we made many moony eyes at each other, and spent a pleasant majority of the time thinking about other things besides work.

The fact that he was usually at work when I was only added to the drama and made it difficult for me to do my job; I wanted to be with him more than I wanted to do my work. And this proved difficult for me for a time until we broke up. And then I had a new problem to face while at work with him.


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